Q&A: Do Confident People Ever Need to Be Comforted?

Seek comfort

Question: Do self-confident and successful people ever feel the need to be comforted by someone?

Hell yes.

To me, the thought that self confident people don’t need support, help or guidance from anyone else is crazy. But as we’re bombarded with images and messages and stories and media about success and hustling and crushing it, it’s sadly not surprising that people start to believe that they should be able to do it all themselves.

Self-confidence is not the same thing as strength. It isn’t the same as independence. Or self-reliance.

Confidence doesn’t make you a bullet-proof island where you don’t need anyone else. That’s arrogance, or hubris, or denial.

It’s fake news.

Self-confidence is the quality that makes it easier to trust yourself to be vulnerable. It makes it easier to seek comfort or ask for help, because you know your self-worth won’t decrease by doing so.

You get to go out there without your armor, curious and ready to explore.

It allows you to choose your behaviour with implicit trust. Not trust in the outcome, because none of us know what the hell’s going to happen, but trust in your ability to meet each moment fully and make choices that honour who you are.

Yes, you’ll screw up sometimes. You won’t have all the answers and things will go wrong. And that’s exactly where the ability to allow others to support and comfort you is so important.

That’s what real confidence is, and that’s what leads to real success.

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