Tips, strategies and advice to build confidence
Life is filled with challenges, uncertainty and fear, and when faced with all of that it's easy to doubt yourself and feel like you're not good enough. I've been coaching people like you to improve self-confidence since 2002, and right here you'll find the best tips, strategies and advice that build confidence and self-worth.
You’re already becoming the person you’re going to be, so make sure you’re becoming the person you want to be with these 3 tips.
Some definitions of confidence get it totally wrong, so for a confidence definition that stamps out mistruths and is actually useful, read on.
Being a force of nature makes you unchallengeable, unstoppable, unforgettable. It sounds amazing, but there’s more than meets the eye.
It doesn’t matter how far you’ve come or how much you’ve achieved. Sometimes it feels like you’re failing. Here’s what’s happening and how to counter it.
When life starts fucking with you, wouldn’t it be cool to be a little bit more…unfuckwithable? Here are 5 ways to be more unfuckwithable, starting now.
Failure is hard to do well, and can leave you feeling small, scared and not good enough. It’s time to discover how to be better at failure.
We all wish we were brave, but what does that actually mean or look like? Learn what bravey really is, and how to be brave.
Bravery is often misunderstood, so if you’re wondering whether you have what it takes to be brave, here are 49 good reasons.
Confidence vs arrogance is one of those perpetual debates. What’s the difference, and how closely matched are they? Get the inside scoop on the winner here.
If you never feel good enough (to succeed, for other people, or even just in your own skin) then there are 3 reasons behind that. Learn more right here.
The Difference Confidence Makes
Picture two people.
The first is really capable, abe to apply themselves, and has accumulated some good experience. But they get scared easily.
They don't like to put themselves in new situations, because they're afraid they'll screw up or look dumb in front of other people, and wonder if they have what it takes to make it work. They put a lot of effort into pleasing other people and trying to do things perfectly, because they've learned that when they do that they won't be judged or rejected. They've always known they can do more and be more, but tend to hold something back, because they prefer being safe over being exposed and vulnerable.
The second is just as capable, just as able to apply themselves, and has accumulated just as much good experience. But they understand that fear is just part of their experience, and it doesn't need to dictate their behaviour.
They allow themselves to try new things, because they know that's how they grow and have more impact. They put effort into the things that matter, and know that they don't need to please everyone or prove anything (the value is in doing what matters). They're willing to be uncomfortable and vulnerable, because that's what self-trust requires and they know they're already good enough.
Confidence First, Then Success
Confidence is the difference between taking a chance, or not. It's the difference between trusting yourself to make a decision, or staying put because it's less risky. And it's the difference between feeling good enough because you're already whole, and never quite feeling like you're as good as you need to be.
Building confidence is essential in work and in life, because it's the quality that allows you to:
Without confidence, those little voices of fear and doubt will call the shots, and over time your confidence and sense of who you are becomes lost.
It's only with confidence that you get to stand up, make meaningful choices and feel like you're good enough to deal with whatever happens.
Building confidence is the key to meaningful success.
Building real, lasting confidence
The oldest advertising trick in the book is to identify something shiny that people badly want or need, then promise them that you have the secret to obtaining it easily.
Lose weight easily. Get six-pack abs in 12 weeks. Be debt-free within 6 months. The Internet is rife with companies and organisations who promise you easy fixes and guaranteed success.
You and I both know that these products and solutions are usually either a downright scam, or they willfully over-promise and under-deliver.
It's the same with confidence.
There are people out there who promise to give you bulletproof confidence, or to make you feel confident within 15 minutes. And I have to say, that's bullshit.
What they promise is short, sharp bursts of outer confidence, that fades quickly and leaves you feeling worse.
I've been doing this for a while now, and I have little appetite for strategies that don't work, or worse, work for a little while but then fade away and leave you wondering if you did it wrong or if there's something wrong with yourself.
The truth is, success as a leader (whether in an organisation, as an entrepreneur or solopreneur) can be easy, but the path can be long and hard. It's easy to get discouraged. It's easy to lose heart. And it's easy to feel not good enough.
That's where real, lasting confidence comes in.
You Gotta Put in The Work
Just like a gymnast makes a backflip look easy, or a chef makes filleting a fish look easy, or a great teacher makes teaching look effortless, you can reach a point where leadership and confidence come easy to you.
But the only way for the gymnast, the chef and the teacher to get there, is to put in the work. They don't call it in or quit when it's hard or uncomfortable. They work at it because it matters. Because they want to grow and get better at it. Because they want to make an impact or make a difference.
Same goes for being a confident leader.
You get better over time, by "doing the thing". Trying. Learning. Growing. Experimenting. Failing.
All of that is made simpler and smoother with confidence—knowing you're already enough and trusting yourself.
Articles to build confidence
The articles here will help you in building confidence and practicing the development of real, lasting confidence.
This is the secret sauce that highly effective, truly successful leaders have. And the longer you spend chasing shortcuts and trying to avoid the hard work, the longer it will take you to get there.
If you're ready and willing, I have the content, strategies and insights for you.