Confidence coaching

Confidence coaching for Leaders

Helping you feel ready, confident and capable

You’ve worked damn hard to get as far as you have, so congratulations and well done. Really.

Now, of course, shit gets real. You have all those eyeballs on you. People waiting for your direction and decisions. A mountain of expectations on you to deliver.

And in creeps that little voice that whispers in your ear, it’s just a matter of time before I fuck this up.

You tell yourself that you won’t be able to do it, that you’ll screw up and look dumb in front of everybody and that you’re out of your depth.

With those thoughts in your head and that ripe plum of fear and anxiety in the pit of your stomach, it’s easy to find yourself trying to please others, pursuing perfection and wanting to prove yourself at every step. Not to mention beating yourself up for not being good enough and not having your shit together.

This is the part of being a leader that nobody told you about or prepared you for. And it sucks.

So, to hell with that. This is the perfect time to develop and use your natural confidence to help you:

• Get greater peace of mind
• Stop doing what everyone else expects you to do
• Stop being who everyone else expects you to be
• Trust your gut and experience over second-guessing whether you’re making the right call
• Lead from the front, instead of letting your fear of the unknown call the shots
• Not worry about screwing up or failing, or what others might think
• Deal with performance anxiety and the need to be seen as “perfect”

Natural confidence is your way out of all of that. I define it like this:

Natural confidence is accepting your full and unconditional worth, the ability to demonstrate self-compassion in the face of emotional challenge, and the ability to lean gracefully and whole-heartedly into uncertainty.

With natural confidence, you get to feel like you’re good enough, right now—no conditions.

And that, wouldn’t you just know it, is exactly what I’m here to help you with.

Think confidently

Your experience is a result of the thinking that happens right there in that magnificent brain of yours. With better thinking comes a better experience.

Problem is, much of the stuff that goes on in your brain flies way under the radar—an auto-pilot that steers you towards being safe and getting through challenges unscathed, undamaged and unjudged, no matter if you hate where it takes you or who it turns you into.

My confidence coaching works in two ways:

Bottom-up

We connect you deeply with the things that make you who you are, the elements that bring out your best and the foundations for what drives you. These things are hardwired into you. They’re not going anywhere. You can trust them, always.

Building a strong connection to your foundation is a constant source of natural confidence.

Top-down

We look at the thinking that gets in the way of your natural confidence, shining a light on patterns of thought that might not be serving you well. This takes practice, but the very act of noticing these ways of thinking creates space for new stuff, different stuff, better stuff.

Peeling back the layers of thought that hold you back and short-circuit your natural confidence frees you up to be more of who you already are.

I have tools, tactics and techniques that help these two strategies come to life, and like Jonathan and Jennifer Hart, apple pie and ice cream or sunshine and margaritas, some wonderful things happen when bottom-up and top-down work together.

Importantly, my confidence coaching method has been developed and refined since 2002 but it’s not a cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all approach. There’s no way I’d confine you (or me) to a linear, restrictive process. We’ll dip in and out of the content as needed, take some spontaneous detours and only use the right things when the time is right for you.

A bullshit-free zone

I want you to make an informed choice about the coach you choose to work with, so I want to be completely transparent about how I work and what it’s like to work with me.

I’ll be your partner-in-crime (note: we probably won’t be committing any actual crimes) and your biggest supporter. I’ll throw you what might be the toughest questions you’ve ever been asked and I’ll poke and prod through your thoughts so we can see what’s helping and hindering you. I’ll get bloody excited when we discover something amazing and I’ll call you on your bullshit.

I’ll always believe in you. I’ll be right there with you. And you can never disappoint me.

With that said, if you want a coach who’s deadly serious and follows “conventional wisdom” that ain’t me. Sorry, but conventional wisdom is all too often generic, homogenised, ineffective mush. I’ve built my confidence coaching method by looking at what’s actually worked through my 15+ years of coaching, not by following theory or reading a book about how you can be more confident by puffing out your chest.

I have zero interest in wanting to appear really smart or professional, because that stuff gets in the way of me coaching you and giving you my all. Life is equal parts serious and silly, so while I take the serious stuff seriously I laugh right along with the rest of it.

So if you’re looking for a generic, conventional, lip-serving life coach then you might want to look elsewhere, and let me wish you all the very best.

Are you ready?

Continuing in the spirit of transparency, if you:

• want someone else to do the heavy lifting and just want an easy ride
• don’t want to be totally honest with yourself
• just want a bit of validation and know deep down that you won’t really follow through or give it a chance
• feel like a little discomfort is too uncomfortable for you
• want change right now and don’t want to work at it
• don’t have the bandwidth to bring your A-game to this

Then you might not be ready for this. That’s totally fine—timing can be a real factor in this stuff and I want you to get everything you can from working with me.

I work with a handful of people at a time (between 5 and 10) to ensure I’m giving you every ounce of insight, attention and support I can muster, so if you:

• want to deal with stuff like performance anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism and needing to prove yourself
• are eager to start because you’ve waited long enough
• are perfectly happy to put in some effort
• have decided that you don’t want to do it all by yourself, because you can’t see what’s in your blind spot and are too close to your own stuff
• are creative and curious to explore
• want to be partners in crime with a coach who will always be honest, see you at your best and hold you accountable

Then we might just make a great team.

What other people say

I find it to be a fantastic opportunity to gather valuable, unedited, first-hand feedback on where I’m at (and quite often where I feel I’m not at) from this very real, engaging, insightful and quite funny chap who genuinely cares and is steadfastly invested in helping us all suss out the answers we’re searching for.
Cara Vogl

If you’re serious about making your life better then it’s time to give Steve a call.
James Lloyd from Nottingham

I wanted to say thank you. I know what you do is a service and your work but it really is one that changes lives and brings back the pieces that fear clings to. You are an amazing man Steve and you do outstanding work. One of the reasons I feel you do this so well and with integrity, is because you have empathy and experience and it nourishes you to help others. Without which, it would just be hot air.
Tonya from LA

This has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself. I’m glad I took the time to find a coach that I felt comfortable with because there have been times when I have needed to touch on very private things and I feel completely at ease with that. I’m more confident, have a new excitement about life and a clearer picture of myself.

Never once did you tell me the answer. You guided me to find it myself and that has been the magic!
Stephanie Favell from Norfolk

After looking for a new job in 2015, and then all through 2016 with little luck, I was struggling with a lot of negative self-talk and doubt. I just landed a new job last week. Just wanted to say thanks – for being so damn authentic, and generous with sharing your hard won learning.
Nick Borthwick from New Zealand

To be honest I wasn’t sure how Steve could help me. but, after each session I am amazed at how he did. He has an uncanny way of responding and riffing on a conversation that is just enough listening and advice combined. Really sharp guy.
Paul Lewandowski from Maine

My life and confidence have improved significantly as a result of working with Steve. At work, I am able to remain calm and confident, to know my strength and forgive my weaknesses with compassion. I think honestly his unwavering and genuine faith in me is the fundamental piece that made everything else effective.
Loreline Amilhat from Florida

How to start

It starts with a hassle-free, no-pressure, no-sales-patter conversation, so that:

• we can chat through where you’re at, what you’d like to work on and what you’d like to get out of working with me
• you can get a feel for me and how I work
• you can throw any questions at me and I’ll (attempt to ) answer them

From the moment you decide to come on board I’ll be in your corner, supporting you and cheering you on. It’s you and me, partners in crime.

We’ll meet regularly via Skype or Zoom, and continue to talk, ask questions and keep up-to-date on progress via email between those calls.

How long we work together is really up to you, how deep you want to go and what’s of value to you. I’ll never assume to keep working with someone without establishing that there’s value being created.

Here are the most popular options.

Any questions, let me know

It can be tough choosing a coach. Sometimes it’s weird and scary too, because it’s not something you do every day, and it can feel pretty exposing.

I get that, so if you have any questions about the process, about what results you can expect or anything else (except for sports, I know nothing about sports) drop me a line and I’ll get right back to you.