One big reason people end up lost, afraid and without confidence is because they’re full of self-doubt. Another is that they’re always second-guessing themselves, but not much thought is given to the difference between these two experiences and what it means for how you handle each of them.
So here’s the difference.
Second-guessing is wondering if your actions are enough. Did you take the right job? Did you move to the right city? Are you dating the right person? It also projects forwards. How do I know which job is the right one? How do I know where I should move to? How do I know if this relationship will work out?
Self-doubt is wondering if you’re enough. I’m not ready for this. I can’t do it. I’ll only fuck it up. Self-doubt also uses selected history as “evidence”, using times when things didn’t go to plan to support any thoughts that you’re not enough.
Dealing with these things isn’t a one-time thing.
They need consistent and deliberate action to keep at bay.
But let me boil things down real quick.
To productively deal with second-guessing, ask yourself this: If I knew I could deal with whatever happens, no matter what, what choice would I make?
And to help manage that self-doubt, ask yourself: What would the very best version of me—the me who feels connected, flowing and alive—do now?