Just recently someone sent me an email asking how they can become a force of nature.
It sounds good doesn't it? Being a force of nature. A force to be reckoned with. Unstoppable. Having a big impact. Having people notice you. Having people value you.
Who wouldn't want that?
On the surface it seems like an amazing thing to aim for, but let's dig into it a little bit...
What is this really about?
There are times when I've wanted to change the world. To have a positive impact on as many people as possible. Noble aims, right?
Sometimes when I've felt that urge, I've looked deeper and found that it's really about how I want people to see me, and how I want the world to view me.
The drive to be a force of nature can sometimes mask a need to be perceived as a force of nature.
Being seen as the dynamic, impactful, world-changingly-successful person you hope you could be might not be about the impact you're having or the difference you're making, but about building a perception and brand that makes you feel accepted and valuable.
So in the first instance, you need to challenge your motivation here.
Are you looking to create meaning and value for others, or are you looking to create meaning and value for yourself?
It feels good to avoid pain
Think about a force of nature. Unchallengeable. Unstoppable. Unforgettable.
Nothing can get to you or divert you or stop you.
As long as you're a force to be reckoned with, nothing and no one can hurt you.
Which is enough to make it utterly compelling.
But the desire to avoid hurt or pain is really about self-protection and nothing to do with becoming someone to be reckoned with. It's a convenient mask you can put on that gives you a sense of safety, but it really masks insecurity.
So you need to do the work there, first.
What being a force of nature really means...
This is what's really involved:
- Figuring out what really, really matters to you
- Aligning your decisions and behaviour behind that and letting go of what doesn't work
- Moving through challenge of any size, knowing you're already whole, good enough and worthy (regardless of what happens)
Being a force of nature is hard.
You can't do that and be comfortable. It requires stretch and discomfort and sometimes it might make you question everything.
And here's the really important part.
If you're ready to give up in the face of a challenge or because the results you get aren't big enough or aren't what you imagined, then can you really be a force to be reckoned with?
You can't be a force of nature if you base your value on the results you get.
A force of nature is what it is. It's undiminishable.
Which gives us big clues about how to get there.
It's my view that this question of being a force of nature is really about being undiminishable. Irreducible. Unconditionally worthy.
And the foundation for this is natural confidence.
The kind of confidence that comes from the inside-out, not the outside-in. The kind of confidence that allows you to:
- accept who you are, warts and all, and stop beating yourself up for any weaknesses
- know and honour what matters to you most
- have the courage to be who you are over fitting in or pleasing everyone
- understand that your value is inherent and unconditional
- trust yourself to stretch and grow and be uncomfortable
What these qualities (and many more) lead to is a sense of congruence. A sense that you're whole, together, flowing.
That's what being a force of nature is about.
Ready to do the work?