Well done. You’ve passed the first test.
But close your eyes and that screen vanishes. What the fuck!, you might think, I swear I was just looking at this glowy screen thingy and now it’s disappeared!
Chances are it’s still there of course, you’re just not looking at it. Gotta wake up pretty early to get past you, right?
So let me ask you this. If a tree falls in a wood and there’s nobody around to hear it fall, does it make a sound?
Yes, of course it fucking does.
It’s a massive great big tree falling down; that shit is going to be noisy as all hell
Of course I’m being facetious and silly (it’s a talent), but choosing not to see something doesn’t change the fact that it’s there. Choosing not to hear something doesn’t change the fact that it makes a sound.
And here’s where we get to the meat and potatoes of the thing.
Sometimes in life you’ll prefer not to be seen by others, because there’s something you’d rather not see or hear yourself.
Perhaps something’s just gone completely pear-shaped and you’re ashamed. Maybe a dream feels completely out of your league and you don’t want to feel bad about not being up to it. Maybe you were rejected by someone and you’ve learned to hide to avoid getting hurt again. Or maybe you feel smaller than a gnat chewing on the ass of a cow in a field that you drive by at 80kph.
As long as you hide that part of you and hide the noise it makes, you think it will go away.
But it doesn’t.
Of course it doesn’t.
You just pretend that it does and work to obscure it like David frickin’ Copperfield using camera tricks to make the Statue of Liberty disappear.
All you do is deprive the world from seeing you, torch in hand, as you really are
More importantly, you deprive yourself from feeling whole.
I’m a big fleshy bag of contradictions just like you, and there will always be objects that create feelings of fear and unworthiness.
But for heavens sake, let’s not make that a problem.
If there was a guy among your circle of friends—let’s call him Kenny—who went around with his hands in front of his eyes pretending that people weren’t there, wouldn’t you want to slap him silly?
You call him up to see what he’s been up to, and all you get down the line is “La, la, la, la-la, la, la, can’t hear you, la, la-la…”
Head out to a movie with Kenny, and he spends the whole damn picture with a bag over his head asking you what’s happening and whether Al Pacino’s in it.
And then at the end of dinner, Kenny squeezes his eyes shut and says, “Bill? What bill? I can’t see a bill.”
Let’s face it, Kenny needs a solid slap right in the kisser
You might not want to see what’s there, because it makes you feel bad. So it takes a little courage at first, to sweep back that curtain and see what you’ve been trying not to look at.
But what’s back there isn’t something to be ashamed about and doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just a part of you that you get to say “Hey” to before going about your day as best you can.
I think you can probably see how drum-bangingly, toe-tingly, goose-bumpingly extra-fucking-ordinary that would be.