Questions are good. And when it comes to things like pressure, anxiety and confidence there are a lot good questions. So if you have specific questions about what I do, how it might help you or who the heck I am, here are a few A’s to the most common Q’s I get.
(Oh, and if you have a question for me that isn’t here, feel free to get in touch. I’m always around.)
It works in two ways. First up, we connect you deeply to your foundations -the things that make you who you are, everything you’re able to bring to the table, the things that give you strength and the things that genuinely matter to you. Trusting these fundamental pieces of who you are is what confidence feels like.
Second, we work from the top down, looking at the patterns of thinking that short-circuit confidence, make you doubt your ability to deliver and keep you rolling around in comparison, expectation and worry.
Working in those two ways, you feel more internally aligned and aware, you respond to events from a place of feeling “good enough” and you have the tools to consistently be yourself, instead of what you think others expect from you or what you need to prove to them.
For sure. Feeling stuck is the sense that you don’t have options, or that if you do you’re powerless to exercise them or that you shouldn’t exercise them.
The longer you stay feeling stuck, the harder it becomes to make a move. What I’ve seen is that getting you unstuck often starts with a gentle process of exploration, shining a light on the ways you’re not giving yourself credit and opening doors you might not even have known were there. This can happen without any upheaval or change, as it’s really about exploring the landscape and seeing what might be beyond the boundaries you’ve assumed are there.
What I know is that you’re more than the circumstances you find yourself in. My challenge to you, then, is how can you start to explore what lies beyond your current circumstances?
The reason you get that warm wash of anxiety when you’re about to speak in front of a group is because you’re a human being.
We fear looking dumb in front of others. We fear being seen as not good enough. We fear rejection.
The key, then, is to find tools that help reassure you and help ground you when you’re in those situations. Tools that help you say “Okay, this is one of those times my brain and body are screaming at me to get the hell out of here, but you know what, I’m already good enough and I’m going to be okay.”
Awareness, compassion and inner confidence are all great allies in doing that.
First of all, congratulations.It’s easy for that to sound vacuous or flippant, but really. Congratulations. You’ve been picked for this new role because you’re the best person for the job. You have the skills, experience and capabilities to get in there and do great work. That deserves a moment of recognition, before anything else.Because it’s when you forget everything you have, everything you’ve accomplished and everything you can still grow into, that overwhelm happens.Yes, your new role comes with fresh pressures and challenges. But what if these weren’t things to fear as things that might show you up or things you might fail at, but things to embrace because they give you the chance to bring your best and to grow?So give yourself a break. You have immense capability. And you don’t even have to do it all alone. You have people around you who can help.Embrace it. And let me know how I can help.
Finding the right coach for you starts with Googling the hell out of the problem, seeing who’s out there and shortlisting people who seem like they might be able to help you and your specific need. But until you actually talk with a coach you don’t get a sense of the fit.
That’s why I always invite prospective clients to talk with me one on one first, with no need to commit to anything, just so we can get a better understanding of one another.
It’s so easy to think that, isn’t it?
You look around and everyone seems to have so much more figured out, but I think you probably know that this isn’t true at all. We’re all just figuring this out as we go. The trick, I think, is to do it with a little grace, a little humour and a lot of curiosity.
Thinking that you’re lacking something in comparison to others, thinking that not having it all figured out yet makes you somehow less than, or that other people are further ahead is toxic like an arsenic enema.
Give yourself more credit. We’re all works in progress and we’re all wonderfully, humanly, imperfectly whole. Confidence is trusting you’re already good enough while exploring the world that’s out there for you.