Finishing up a confidence coaching session where we hit all the right notes and something clicked in my client makes me feel on top of the world. When I’ve had a day with good people where I’ve been able to riff, laugh and connect, I feel like the most confident man who ever lived. And when I wrap up a corporate gig where I worked my socks off and got the respect of the team, it feels like I could tackle anything.
It’s really damn easy to feel confident when you’ve just got a big win under your belt, and the confidence that flows from success feels wonderful.
But it’s easy.
And it’s temporary.
This is extrinsic confidence—confidence that’s made and fuelled by external events, and when the buzz from the success dies, so does the confidence.
Natural confidence is intrinsic. It doesn’t flow from what happens around you, it flows because of what you already have and who you already are.
A confident artist will throw their heart and soul into their work. A confident piano teacher will love every step as their student grows. A confident manager will give their team what they need to do great work and not get in their way. A confident student will engage with studies and friends without needing to fit in or prove anything. And a confident athlete will love the very fact that they get to play and compete to the best of their ability.
Sometimes people get lucky, sure, but don’t wait for your confidence to be built from events that happen around you. You might be waiting a while.
Einstein said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
Creating, adding, serving.
And in a beautiful twist, that’s where real, meaningful success happens.
Are you tired of waiting?